Successful Sober Top Ten

Ten Tips on Successful Sober

On the interwebs it's like there are thousands of monkeys tapping away producing top ten ways to have a better life in every way - every single day.

I can get fit, cut or ripped and make habits or break habits or even get to wear a habit.

So for today's sober writing challenge #livealcoholfree I am doing the list.

To stay sober, you have to actually do what other people only wish - "yeah, maybe I should try a whole summer without the booze - but what about those afternoons when it's just so darn perfect for drinking?"

Here's my version of a top ten life hack productivity list taken from or or LinkedIn or something like that.  Sustaining a successful sober recovery.  You might want to listen to this whilst you read through.  Maybe light a candle too.

1. “No one else is willing to do that’s what I will do.”

You have to step outside your zone of comfort.  And stop complaining or finding excuses to delay and just get on with it.  If no one else is doing it it's because it is hard.

You want change - go ahead and start changing.

2. “Wow. That wasn’t so bad after all.”

You have to handle midway success and not go and get drunk again to celebrate.  Been there.  Like having ice cream to celebrate your diet.

3. “I can’t do everything today...but I can take one small step.”

Sobriety doesn't mean you have to make amends for being a bit of a dick for the last decade - hey - one day at a time right?
It's not about doing one big sweeping statement and then resting on your laurels.  It's a bit by bit thing - everyday.  Like a marathon - oh - did I tell you about my half marathon?

4. “I should just be quiet.”

Shame.  Stigma.  Sobriety.  They go together and you'll want to rush out and get "Hey everyone I quit drinking!" burnt into the grass out the front of your house.  Maybe wait a bit.

Hold off - learn the depth of calm and mindfulness that comes with silence and not having to over-compensate for the ordinary in between times in life.

You're not completely fucked - you're still a lovable, gorgeous flawed bastard like the rest of us.  So go easy on yourself and embrace Radical Self Care.  It's a thing and you should be on it.

5. “I don’t care what other people think.”

You shouldn't.  I know how awkward it can be when you skip Friday afternoon drinks and the whole cosmos is calling for cocktails around the cabana.  The look on your soon to be ex-drinking buddy's face when you inexplicably decline the invite and go home to Friday sobriety.

It's not about them.  It's about you - and that feeling when you turn on your heel and trudge back to your car when you can hear the music and the conversation and it feels so so wrong to be walking away - that feeling is bravery and courage and life itself.  That's what we are seeking.

6. “I’ll show you.”

You don't have to show shit.

Just ride the wave of sobriety and feel yourself - it's OK to not be happy - fuck - it's OK to feel anxious and spare and left out and alone and as though it's not worth it after all.

It's OK to feel.  Cause that's what you're doing - feeling.

7. “It’s not perfect...and I’m OK with that.”

All those years drinking have melted your face and your body and there's nothing you can do about it - except by getting up and actually doing something about it.

So choose to complain and hide yourself or go and celebrate the simple joy of being surrounded by young fit people and for starters, just try keeping up with them.

Participate and be grateful your old abused body still has those bits that can lift you and move and give you that metallic taste of adrenaline.

Yoga is not about progress or milestones - instead it is about the process and the discipline of pushing open the door of the studio each morning, day after day.

8. “I should have done better.”

It's not about comparing your journey with anyone else - after all - how many of the other mothers at the school gate have slugged two bottles before lunch and then still made it through a lunchtime zumba class?

Just doing this sober thing is enough for today.  Comparing yourself to some vague notion of a potential you sucks.  Let it go on the exhale.

9. “That’s OK. I’ll just outwork them.”

If nothing else, trying and working hard at your sober recovery just has to work.

No one ever said they fucked their sobriety from working too hard at it - but then again, they probably did because any excuse'll do to go back to it.  Work hard on yourself because no one else is going to.

Becoming sober was really the first step in deconstructing a hulking ego that had grown triffid-like to infect every area of my life.  Now, my life is actually a little bare and sometimes I wonder if I am missing out because I don't have all the shiny friends and bullshit talk that used to buzz around me when I was on the piss.

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