80th Birthday

My wife's grandmother turned 80 on the weekend.  Betty is a beautiful, resilient woman who is still a vibrant, contributing member of the family.  We had a simple spit roast without any gourmet touches, as per Betty's instructions, as she isn't fond of 'fancy food'.

The Harmonica Recital before Luncheon!

Most people were drinking and Betty made a point of sharing that I have gone past six months without alcohol.  Betty's dead husband was alcoholic, so she still looks at me warily as though she can imagine what I am capable of.  It is a cold reminder of what I am moving away from.

Last time we had a get together, of course I was drunk and it seems I was singing(?)  Betty fancies herself as a singer, always has through her life.  After Betty's 82 year old sister finished her harmonica recital (!! - I had tears in my eyes when she said she had to play before she ate otherwise food would get caught it the harmonica) - Betty invited me to sing as well.  "Come on, there's only a few of us who sing, let's show them" Betty said conspiratorially.

And I couldn't remember if I could sing or if I had with Betty before.  But obviously I had, when I was obviously drunk.  Like that time in Ireland when I got up to sing in front of the whole wedding party and sort of just fell over, a drunken mute.  Without the alcohol I was frigid and I said something about not singing today.  Another sad example of being so drunk I can't remember even singing with my great grandmother...

Betty sang Sinatra's 'My Way', and we all clapped and everyone kept drinking and I was occupied taking photos and cooking the spit roast.  So the urge to drink wasn't there, but the memory, or maybe the imagined memory of me last time I saw 80 year old Betty, singing, was enough to keep me focused.

3 comments:

  1. hi.

    i had a really intense self-consciousness when i got sober. still have i guess, though i avoid it by never going near social situations really ;)
    i find it hard to believe i used to sing and dance and all that jazz...now it is like i am paralysed by the mere thought of it.

    i got my first camera after getting sober, so your end comment about being preoccupied taking photos really resonates! I guess it's my way of being present and yet not really being truly *there*. I can distance myself. Geez, this all sounds pretty unhealthy psychologically ahhahaa!

    Betty sounds like a fabulous woman, here's to many more birthdays :)

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  2. Oh, child, the picture of 'ol gal playing the Harmonica. Priceless. I want to be a fraction of that cool when I'm her age.

    Well done on the sober (for you) get together. Family events are my triggers. You did good.

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