Is Yoga good for alcoholic recovery? As you may know I have been going to Yoga three times a week to give me an opportunity for some spiritual development and physical release.
Just now I got back from my Yoga Class - it wasn't on!? - and coming back home un-yoga'd I thought I ought to share what I just missed. I like to say to myself the hardest thing about pre-dawn yoga is getting into the car and driving down the street - once I'm out of bed and in the car on these cool winter mornings - it all takes care of itself.
The first few times I went to Yoga I was overwhelmed with the intense mind space I entered. Intensely self-conscious - I had a negative self talk going throughout the class and simply did my head in with all the shit I was telling myself.
Yoga is good for that. In the class silence - or with some gentle Asian finger-plucking lilting tune meandering in the background, your mind is totally free to wander where it takes you and in those first dozen or so classes, my mind took me through all the negative baggage I was holding onto. I had built my own identity around all these past hurts and painful experiences from years ago - and moving through flexibility poses early in the morning with nothing much to distract me - it bubbled to the surface.
So I wanted to stop doing yoga. I found that is pretty common for novices - wanting to quit after being exposed to the raw shit that is floating around in your mind. So I thought I should keep going, no matter what, and look further into what I was experiencing.
Don't Stop Doing Yoga
My untrained and unprepared mind - the totally neglected alcoholic brain - let's compare it with a surging, fecund rainforest, wildly growing whatever seeds happen to fall from the sky with vines of confusion and weeds thickening into trees without any management apart from the rain and winds and the occasional bird fluttering by. That was me as I bumbled along from drinking episode to drinking episode - not putting any effort into what I cultivated - letting whatever happen to flourish in my thoughts.
And somehow, like all of us, a tendency to hold onto and nurture the most appalling negative incidents as thought they were what defined me and made me the man that I am. So I had a rainforest brain filled with weeds that had grown tall and emerged at the top of the forest proudly standing against the buffeting of anything I tried to dislodge them.
It was no wonder that the paths and tracks I hacked through the rainforest brain were around these landmarks - and that I was entirely comfortable trudging alongside a negative tree that had buttressed roots and threw long shadows all around it. The shadows stopped anything else growing - nothing would really change whilst those big trees remained. I was literally defined by those negative moments in my life and I had let them grow and become hugely part of who I was.
Enter Yoga. Part of each Yoga class is the teacher or Yogi sharing insights and snippets of knowledge as you move through poses. A big part is not consciously striving with with results oriented approach - but instead doing the yoga for the sake of doing the yoga. The simple beauty lies in the method, not the getting somewhere or achieving something. And alongside this is the truth of being in the moment.
Now, after nearly 100 classes in the last five months, I can sort of talk of Yoga as though I am a developing novice. It is at once humbling and inspiring to be waking up each morning and facing my own body, with all its limitations and stiffness and awkward reluctance to embrace twists. But still do it anyway.
What I'd like to share with you if you are considering the stark reality of sobriety after career of drinking is to do it as soon as you can. Waiting and delay are always the best friend of staying drunk and trudging back to the shop for more booze.
Fuck - I know I used 'just staying put' as a great way to drink another thousand bottles of wine when all the signs were clearly urging me to go sober. But I was so scared of life without alcohol - and that's all it really was - sheer terror at having to be present with myself and do some personal development to get my shit together.
So I thought it would be best to stay a drunk for another eighteen months or so - heck - no-one ever
said everything's easier when your older and even more set in your ways!
I know it can be pretty intimidating turning up to Yoga Class for the first time in your loose clothes and being around all these fit hard bodies. It is especially challenging as a male to turn up to mostly female classes and be taken seriously - so always go straight to the front of the class and take a position in the front row or the second row.
They'll appreciate your honesty and brave show that you are less experienced. And it is a reverse sign of humility to go to the front of the room - it says you need more guidance and you are a learner and importantly for males in female dominated classes I've found - for the first few classes anyway - they'll see that you're there actually to do Yoga - not steal glances at hot chicks in awesome poses! But seriously - ahem...
It is a great irony that the less experienced are encouraged to the front of the room whilst the rubber yogis all writhe effortlessly at the back of the room. I felt like I was on display for them others to laugh at - but this was just my mind playing tricks on me - everyone is concentrating on their own poses and staying in their own moment.
By far the most important mental strength I have developed these last few months doing Yoga is patience with myself. I remember all too clearly my frustration and impatience was like one of those coffee urns always just on the boil - ready to spew steam and hot water over whatever happened next.
Doing yoga has taught me - through my own flawed canvas of my body - that I am what I am and no amount of extra pushing or breath holding will give me the flexibility to twist into a certain pose today - no matter what I do.
To get to that deeper stretch of the pose - I might get there by Christmas, or in 12 months - but that's OK - I'm not chasing any certificates or badges or status level ups. Yoga doesn't really have them - you just benchmark yourself - honestly, patiently and with loving kindness.
Something we alcoholics do every day - stay sober and whatever you need to do - start TODAY!
Just now I got back from my Yoga Class - it wasn't on!? - and coming back home un-yoga'd I thought I ought to share what I just missed. I like to say to myself the hardest thing about pre-dawn yoga is getting into the car and driving down the street - once I'm out of bed and in the car on these cool winter mornings - it all takes care of itself.
The first few times I went to Yoga I was overwhelmed with the intense mind space I entered. Intensely self-conscious - I had a negative self talk going throughout the class and simply did my head in with all the shit I was telling myself.
Yoga is good for that. In the class silence - or with some gentle Asian finger-plucking lilting tune meandering in the background, your mind is totally free to wander where it takes you and in those first dozen or so classes, my mind took me through all the negative baggage I was holding onto. I had built my own identity around all these past hurts and painful experiences from years ago - and moving through flexibility poses early in the morning with nothing much to distract me - it bubbled to the surface.
So I wanted to stop doing yoga. I found that is pretty common for novices - wanting to quit after being exposed to the raw shit that is floating around in your mind. So I thought I should keep going, no matter what, and look further into what I was experiencing.
Don't Stop Doing Yoga
Until You've Done 10 Classes
My untrained and unprepared mind - the totally neglected alcoholic brain - let's compare it with a surging, fecund rainforest, wildly growing whatever seeds happen to fall from the sky with vines of confusion and weeds thickening into trees without any management apart from the rain and winds and the occasional bird fluttering by. That was me as I bumbled along from drinking episode to drinking episode - not putting any effort into what I cultivated - letting whatever happen to flourish in my thoughts.
And somehow, like all of us, a tendency to hold onto and nurture the most appalling negative incidents as thought they were what defined me and made me the man that I am. So I had a rainforest brain filled with weeds that had grown tall and emerged at the top of the forest proudly standing against the buffeting of anything I tried to dislodge them.
It was no wonder that the paths and tracks I hacked through the rainforest brain were around these landmarks - and that I was entirely comfortable trudging alongside a negative tree that had buttressed roots and threw long shadows all around it. The shadows stopped anything else growing - nothing would really change whilst those big trees remained. I was literally defined by those negative moments in my life and I had let them grow and become hugely part of who I was.
Enter Yoga. Part of each Yoga class is the teacher or Yogi sharing insights and snippets of knowledge as you move through poses. A big part is not consciously striving with with results oriented approach - but instead doing the yoga for the sake of doing the yoga. The simple beauty lies in the method, not the getting somewhere or achieving something. And alongside this is the truth of being in the moment.
Being Present in the Moment - Great for Sobriety
Now, after nearly 100 classes in the last five months, I can sort of talk of Yoga as though I am a developing novice. It is at once humbling and inspiring to be waking up each morning and facing my own body, with all its limitations and stiffness and awkward reluctance to embrace twists. But still do it anyway.
What I'd like to share with you if you are considering the stark reality of sobriety after career of drinking is to do it as soon as you can. Waiting and delay are always the best friend of staying drunk and trudging back to the shop for more booze.
Fuck - I know I used 'just staying put' as a great way to drink another thousand bottles of wine when all the signs were clearly urging me to go sober. But I was so scared of life without alcohol - and that's all it really was - sheer terror at having to be present with myself and do some personal development to get my shit together.
So I thought it would be best to stay a drunk for another eighteen months or so - heck - no-one ever
said everything's easier when your older and even more set in your ways!
Yoga Works For Alcoholics
I know it can be pretty intimidating turning up to Yoga Class for the first time in your loose clothes and being around all these fit hard bodies. It is especially challenging as a male to turn up to mostly female classes and be taken seriously - so always go straight to the front of the class and take a position in the front row or the second row.
They'll appreciate your honesty and brave show that you are less experienced. And it is a reverse sign of humility to go to the front of the room - it says you need more guidance and you are a learner and importantly for males in female dominated classes I've found - for the first few classes anyway - they'll see that you're there actually to do Yoga - not steal glances at hot chicks in awesome poses! But seriously - ahem...
It is a great irony that the less experienced are encouraged to the front of the room whilst the rubber yogis all writhe effortlessly at the back of the room. I felt like I was on display for them others to laugh at - but this was just my mind playing tricks on me - everyone is concentrating on their own poses and staying in their own moment.
Learning to Be Patient with Yourself
By far the most important mental strength I have developed these last few months doing Yoga is patience with myself. I remember all too clearly my frustration and impatience was like one of those coffee urns always just on the boil - ready to spew steam and hot water over whatever happened next.
Doing yoga has taught me - through my own flawed canvas of my body - that I am what I am and no amount of extra pushing or breath holding will give me the flexibility to twist into a certain pose today - no matter what I do.
To get to that deeper stretch of the pose - I might get there by Christmas, or in 12 months - but that's OK - I'm not chasing any certificates or badges or status level ups. Yoga doesn't really have them - you just benchmark yourself - honestly, patiently and with loving kindness.
Something we alcoholics do every day - stay sober and whatever you need to do - start TODAY!
Alcoholic has a dependency and it is very hard to break that dependency. Proper treatment can break their dependency.
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