The Alchemy of Suffering

If there is a way to free ourselves from suffering
We must use every moment to find it.
Only a fool wants to go on suffering.
Isn't it sad to knowingly imbibe poison?

Seventh Dalai Lama

Have been flipping through Matthieu Ricard's Happiness A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill  (I bought it in 2007 and it appeared on my bedside table every now and then like I was reading it).  I didn't actually read it and still haven't.  So I guess you won't be getting a review here.  There are plenty of other places to read about it.

But what I will do is use it as a catalyst and inspiration for this post.  Especially this snippet and what it means for me.

Understanding that suffering is central to life, and without one there is not the other is a fundamental launch point for my gratefulness practice.  In other words, if you are alive you must come to know suffering, no matter who you are or what you have done.  Suffering is the human condition.

And drinking is a way of coping with suffering. Although drinking does nothing to alleviate the suffering long term, it actually goes a long way towards increasing your suffering.  So the alcoholic deludes himself that the short term release from the strains of suffering is worth the long term locking down of suffering.

Whilst I used to feel I was 'doing something' about relieving my suffering by drinking, I was actually making things worse.  But there is the instant reward of drunkenness and the busy, active side of drinking that is so alluring.  Despite knowing you are taking poison.

Then you have the shame and self loathing of knowing you are stupid for drinking in the first place, and you are slowly, almost without noticing, sucked into the swirling negative spiral of drinking and beating yourself up about it.  And that's where you'll stay for as long as you let yourself wallow there.

oh, it shits me just even thinking about it...